I competed in Toastmaster’s Smack Down this week and came in last behind the mental patient.  To make it worse, it was the easiest topic in the easiest division AND I did my best.   In cream on cream wool with matching stilettos, my first 30 seconds were a breeze.  But for the next 60 seconds, as my fellow club members sat in the back cheering me on by covering their eyes and wishing it would end, I floundered like a fish and expired.

After it was over I asked a stranger at the buffet to “please step away from the guacamole,” then filled up my cup with a double Hawaiian Punch, (37 grams of sugar & red die #3)  – even though I knew it was dangerous to my color pallet.

Yes, I’d memorized the rule book in advance.

Yes, I sat in the front row fortified with vitamin supplements.

Yes, I had planned to win – coming into the competition as a new-be and then bursting forth as a Super Nova to bring home a trophy for my club.

No it never occurred to me to look at the judging criteria so I could be aware of what they were looking for!

If guts and glamor go together. I’m a winner.

But in this world of excellence – of courage and competence – it’s a really good idea to know what people want, expect and demand of you.  Nothing makes up for that, not Ralph Lauren, not even Tory Burch.

I acknowledge that John Lennon Pope John Paul Jack Nicholson McGuire gave a riveting account of vacationing in Palatine, topped off by his tale of how his brother got struck by a car and dragged a block, thus ending his Naval career.  And I knew when he said it, he had made a dent in my ratings and in my heart.

But I will be back, stronger than ever because I learned something valuable.  You can’t win if you run in the wrong direction! Always know where the goal is.