I don’t try to act “AS IF” I am successful or happy.  When I try, it’s to act “AS IF” I’m normal.  There have been plenty of times when I thought I WAS normal only to find out that I wasn’t.

I’d like to take you back to my first real business interview. The position was for a part-time copywriter for a small PR firm specializing in commercial real estate.  I was fresh off the Taste of The Nation PR committee as Chicago chair and felt I could handle this entry level position.

Here is how the interview went.

Them: We got your press release samples and they were great but we didn’t receive your resume.  Can we see it?

Me: My resume?

Them: (shock) (silence)

Me: I must have left it on my desk.  (What resume?)

Them: Could you give us some examples of your writing experience or achievements?

Me: Does painting my kitchen like a clown and writing a puppet show count? OR, (light bulb) what about the years I spent as head writer for the Chicago Film Critics’ Award Show, (you know, Chicago’s answer to the Golden Globes where I wrote every part for every host and celebrity but I’ll discretely leave out the part about when Roger Ebert took the stage with my script and announced to the audience, “If this was in English I’d read it.”)

Them: Any other examples?

Me: Just my humor columns, a piece published in the Tribune about helping my cousin through cancer and this feature film script that won the Chicago Women in Film Screenwriting  Competition.

Them: Will you be happy being pigeonholed in the backroom of the office banging out press releases for $15 an hour without acknowledgement?

Me: Sounds like heaven.

Them: And will you subject yourself to insult and betrayal while we tell you you’re wonderful and still remain cheerful and diligent but not too ambitious so you don’t usurp our positions?

Me: Sign me up!

Them: Do you live close?

Me: Very.

Them:  Excellent. When can you start?

And then we lived happily ever after.  AS IF!!!!