I have grappled with investing in myself and my business. The underpinnings of this decision-making process go down to the bone of self-worth.

The self-help book I should be reading is,  My Business, Myself , which I haven’t written. It’s set in what Faith Popcorn coined as the “atomsFear” where grown-uppery is the two sided devil / angel that remembers and forgets what’s important.

Think back.  Did you ever consider denying your children the best education you could give them? Or nix any special classes that would hamper their development, like sorry no music lessons for you! When you graduated high school did you look at your world and say, I don’t deserve a bright future?

Of course not!

It’s this exact thinking that needs to be refreshed.

Yes, there are checks and balances in adult life, finite time and finances.

But if you are at a juncture of your small business that literally demands that you step-it-up to boost your skills, efficiency and results and you deny yourself that information, or worse, repress it, then you are not honoring the value of your own thinking..and worse, you are denying the needs of your company growth.

And it is NOT about the money.  It’s about taking yourself seriously. It’s about planting the flag and saying, I’m worth it! THIS is worth it. My future is worth it! And having a bright future is my responsibility.

I learned this lesson yesterday. And these lessons don’t come cheap. They come with consideration, the need to be courageous, and a financial commitment that may be very uncomfortable. (think college loan and dial it back)

Yesterday was the day I bought a ticket to a conference..an expensive, intensive, compelling conference that I believe will shape and expand my thinking, relationships and ability to guide my company.  It’s going to require that I get a netbook or laptop and a phone that takes pictures.

In short, it’s going to require the emotional decision to step with full force into the future.

Now I could have been taking those baby steps along the way, but I hadn’t granted myself permission. It was too daunting, my head was too crowded, too expensive..and I have lots more excuse where those come from.

But once I just asked myself this single question, “If there was nothing in the way, would you go?” The answer was clear. YES YES YES. That’s when it all  broke loose, the pent-up desire, the lack of courage, the lurking constraints and ambiguities.

And in their place was a feeling of joy (if not relief) and a single thought, “I’m going for it!” (again)

My Business, Myself – by Lennie Rose

What are you telling yourself that you are not listening to?